There is no Santa ... and no spoon

Explicatia pur stiintifica de ce daca ar fi existat Mos Craciun ar fi fost mort de mult timp.

Thats so evil of me !!!

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.


  1. Santa does exist!

  2. Santa bends the space-time continuum forming an Einstein-Rosen bridge and thus traveling, slaigh included, from house to house, while the whole universe is deforming around him to buy him time and uniting all the locations of gift delivery into one, generic, good kids house to be served... I know that because I have a 4'th dimension debugger set for my living room and I recorded Santas visit with the tcpdump ;)

  3. easter bunny for the win ... santa is just dead !

  4. Toti care nu primesc nimic de la Mos Craciun zic ca nu exista. Ce s-a intamplat, nihasa, nu ai fost cuminte anul asta? :P

  5. As vrea sa te vad peste 10 ani incercand sa ascunzi cadoul de copilul tau...Apoi mai vorbim de "There is no Santa"...Ai avea "curajul" sa-i rapesti unica "fericire legala" la varsta respectiva?!

  6. hai oameni buni ... nu mai gustam o glumita ceva ? :) sunt sarbatori ... destindeti`va

  7. referitor la punctul 1)... santa has cats. that's why he's so fast... si-au pus ele bentite cu forma coarnelor de ren la deruta... of!

  8. anonimule, nu-ti mai creste copiii idioti si-nvata-i sa se bucure de un cadou primit de la parinti, nu de la un grasan inventat :|


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